Your Social Voice – Are You A Faker?

"Fake"From the time that I was young I can remember my mothers “Phone Voice.”

The metaphor of her “Phone Voice” is how I define the way she answers the phone. Her greeting was like no other I’d ever heard; comprised of the clearest, kindest, most eloquent voice. It was unmistakable It didn’t really matter what was going on around her. She always answered this way.

I distinctly remember one time when she was screaming her head off at my sister and I only for her to stop when the phone rang to deliver a perfect rendition of her famous greeting.

While my mother is a wonderful person, this voice was not, and it wasn’t her. It was a total fraud. I knew this even as a child because she never spoke with this voice except when she picked up the call.

Since my not so fond memories of this date back to before the caller ID, I’m pretty sure she did this just in case someone really important was calling. At the very least I’m justifying it this way in my mind.

Now that we always know who is calling the element of surprise is gone. Now we know who is calling. This allows even her to answer the pone a bit more candidly.

The funny thing is how small things in life can have a big impact. The fake voice that my mother used to answer the phone drove me crazy. I never understood why you would want to be anyone but you and because of this I swore I would only be me. While perhaps a moving target, I never wanted anyone to question if I’m real.

Today the phone voice has waned, but it has been replaced. This time not by good old mom, but by a mass of social media users.

This mass of users is best characterized by those that want to always display an image because of the uncertainty of who may be listening.

After all, a good first impression is important.

Problem is, there are some misconceptions about the good ole first impression.

In fact there are many, and I won’t bore you with all of them, but here is one to take with you…

If you have to lie, mislead, misinform, or act any way that isn’t representative of “YOU,” then it isn’t a good first impression. It is the foundation of a relationship that will have to continue to be built on false pretenses.

Unfortunately, the real “Us” always finds its way to the surface, it is really only a matter of when that happens.

As I have been around the “Social Media” world longer I have become more and more aware of the fake voice.

It isn’t really that hard to see it, just think about your 360 degree life off of the internet…People just aren’t so one dimensional in real life, but they can often seem that way online. Overly happy, nice, affectionate (Hugs, xo, etc), inspirational or other…

It can become even more visible when you start to meet some of these “Handles” in the real world. It is almost immediately apparent that the online personality and the offline person are hardly one and the same.

What is even more crazy is sometimes I end up liking the real person better. That is probably because no one is happy, perfect, or shiny all of the time. It is the ebbs and flows that really make life worth living.

This often leaves me wondering, why so many fakers?

Obviously not everyone is faking it. I’ve met some truly wonderful people via the social sphere. Would it surprise you if I suggest that many of the best ones are often much more electric in person than on line.

Having said that, I have also met some of the most prolific people online to find out that they are hardly prolific in real life.

As for me, I am what I am. This will probably limit my potential in the social space, but I’m okay with that. I’ve always believed in having a few really meaningful relationships rather than lots of acquaintances.

You can also count on the fact that I’m going to share what I think. This is the only thing that makes sense to me since Social Media is really just the interaction of “Real People” on a virtual platform. But I digress…

So how about you. Are you for real, or are you doing social media with a phone voice?

About Daniel Newman

Daniel Newman serves as the CEO of EOS, a quickly growing hosted IT service provider. Daniel is also VP of TMD connect, EOS’ parent organization. TMD is a national distributor for Cisco Systems. At TMD Daniel is responsible for the company’s strategy and business development activities. Prior to this role Daniel was the CEO of United Visual. Parent company to United Visual Systems, United Visual Productions, and United GlobalComm. The family of companies is focused in Visual Communications and Audio Visual Technologies. Daniel is also Co-Founder of the Global Community 12 Most. Newman is an Adjunct Professor of Management at North Central College. He attained his undergraduate degree in Marketing at Northern Illinois University and an Executive MBA from North Central College in Naperville, IL. Newman currently resides in Aurora, Illinois with his wife (Lisa) and his two daughters (Hailey 9, Avery 5). A Chicago native all of his life, Newman is an avid golfer, a fitness fan, and a classically trained pianist.

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Samantha Bangayan 72 pts

A powerful post, Daniel! It's true. Some of the people I admire and respect most on the World Wide Web are those that are a bit edgier but oh so real. In fact, I've met a few other bloggers who feel they can express themselves better under pseudonyms since it can be so difficult to let it all out for the world to see. And that's when their realness is revealed. =) 

AlliPolin 24 pts

Fantastic!  Wonder why people are so afraid to be real online... can only imagine what they're like in real life - probably the same.  Totally relate to your Mom's phone voice.  Thanks for using such a great metaphor - definitely hits home. 

markstubbles 6 pts

I saw recently that about 25% of the top twitter accounts have fake followers

MallieDein 9 pts

Wonderful! I absolutely remember my mother's telephone voice, and I believe I might have the very same phone voice. But your take on being genuine with your online persona is spot on.

vikkiorlando 8 pts

So often I forget about the scope and breadth of people listening it doesn't occur to me to not be me. I only make sure I have my "Nana's House" persona on. No cussing, no tattling and you may have to eat your words later so don't make them bitter.

danielnewmanUV 370 pts

 vikkiorlando unless you love the hops ;)

My latest conversation: 8 Simple Ways To Inspire Your Customers

vikkiorlando 8 pts

 danielnewmanUV Keep your IPA, I'll have a Belgian or Trappist :)

BrandFlair 90 pts moderator

Social Media enables us to be "digitally extroverted" but not necessarily "social."

Had a recent experience with a faker and her sidekick.  The person is sure to use fluffy language and a  fake huge smile avatar but is really a bully with a personal agenda.  I call it the "Mommy Dearest" personality.  Trashing people on private chat boards they control and other  "wire hanger" moments behind the scenes but when the lights go on and it is #Chat time the platitudes and buzz words come out.  I call these SOB's.  Social Online Bully's.  At least the Trolls are in your face and don't hide their pathetic agendas. Otherwise I will say I have enjoyed most everyone else I have met so far via Social and those who I have been fortunate to  meet IRL for coffee and/or lunch.  Dan, I look forward to our first chat face to face and enjoy your posts immensely.  You know how to be a true community leader and tell it like you see it. Love our conversations and your posts.  Cheers sir!

JB

danielnewmanUV 370 pts

 BrandFlair I'm sorry to hear that happened John. I hope it isn't someone that I support or promote.  But I must say, I try to avoid the fray...at least as much as I can!

My latest conversation: 26 (A-Z) Traits of a Leader I’d Want To Follow

BrandFlair 90 pts moderator

 danielnewmanUV Agree.  Easy in life to focus too much energy on something or somebody that is not worth the time or effort.  Too many fun, positive, and real people to meet and get to know.  :-)

prosperitygal 198 pts

LOVE LOVE LOVE this and now I cherish the response I get ALL the time about how I am just like in physical life as I am online ( I think they are all real life).

 

At first it use to bother me - what do they mean I am like who I am online?  Then I started to see folks who were not and I was like YUCK. 

 

Yeah we have all had that flurry of sticky sweetness dust that many think is cute or brandable chatter.  Now I watch and see beyond the surface and recognize it is folks who want to be someone they are not - which is sad.  It means they do not appreciate who they are.

 

I love who I am, took me 40+ years to appreciate me to the stage I can now.  Mainly had to overcome that false sense of having to be the "best" all the time and recognized I am the best ME al the time.

My latest conversation: Turning Your Competitor's PR Screwups Into Ethical Profits #DigtialSplash

danielnewmanUV 370 pts

 prosperitygal I can validate that Michele! you are who you say you are :)

My latest conversation: 26 (A-Z) Traits of a Leader I’d Want To Follow